January 4, 2007 at 1:53 am (Crafty, Food, People)
Crazy Aunt Who Moonlights At Large High-End Chain Clothing Store (CAWMALHECC): Here you go!
Me: Thanks! (Trying not to gag at ugly stupid purse.)
Me three days later: I’d like to return this, although there are no tags and no gift receipt. Is that possible? (Knowing full well it may be a season or two old and I might not get much for it.)
Sales clerk: (Pleasantly.) Sure, no problem. Let me check. (Face drops noticeably.) Um, you got this as a gift? For this Christmas?
Me: Ye-es. . .
Sales clerk: Ummm.
Me: (Paranoid they think I’m trying to cheat them.) If I can’t return it, I do understand. What, is it a season old?
Sales clerk: (Embarassed.) It’s from Fall 2004.
Me: (Pit of stomach falling and feeling great wrath towards the CAWMALHECC.) I’m not surprised.
Sales clerk #2, who leans over from other register: Damn, you got that as a gift?
Me: Mmmhmm.
Sales clerk #1: (Looks mortified.) I’m really sorry, I am.
Sales clerk #2: That is NOT right.
Me: It’s ok. It’s not your fault. Thank you for checking, I do appreciate it.
Walks calmly out of store and starts plotting how to regift an old purse that the CAWMALHECC gave me years ago as a hand me down (not as a “gift”).
Nothing pisses me off more than sheer tackiness. I’d prefer nothing at all. I’m voting for no exchanging of gifts next year…. unless I regift the purse. And only for CAWMALHECC.
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December 13, 2006 at 12:20 am (Food)
I think I have food poisoning. Not bad, just yucky. At first I thought it was a stomach bug, but my symptoms (fever and cramps after a really gross early morning) seem to point to food poisoning. Question is, how the hell did I get it? Save your Taco Bell jokes–I haven’t had green onions and I don’t eat at Taco Bell as a general rule. I made a mushroom, garlic, ginger, onion and carrot soup last night that was supposed to be an immune booster, but within four hours I was feeling off. So that could be the culprit, which means I have to throw out my leftover ingredients, which stinks! And, while doing holiday baking, I could perhaps have eaten some raw dough. Maybe. But, I’ve never been sick from that before and it was on Saturday, so I think that’s a little too long in the chronology of food poisoning.
I feel like I’m hungover except without the silly memories of the night before. The UPS delivery man buzzed up nine times–none of which I answered–and I guess the superintendent let him in. When he got to my door, he knocked several times loudly. (BTW, lots of times packages are just delivered quietly at my door–especially during normal business hours.) He said, “What, you don’t answer your phone?”
I said, “Not when I’ve been puking all day,” took the package, and shut the door.
Time for another ginger ale.
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December 10, 2006 at 11:42 pm (Crafty, Food, MFA)
Yesterday, I made Chocolate Peppermint Bar Cookies. (And they are yummy and rich and delicious.) Today, I made Spicy Red-Pepper Jelly, and will be making the accompanying Parmesan Black-Pepper Biscotti. If you can’t tell, I am totally enchanted with the current issue of Gourmet magazine. (Although I agree with Slate’s Sara Dickerman questioning the dark covers and spreads.)
My arm and shoulder and wrist are killing me. Any time I type or stir ingredients for too long, pain shoots from my elbow and wrists. I see the doctor about it on Friday. Tomorrow I go see the podiatrist. Later this week I see my shrink to check in.
My friend L. asked if I was going to have my shocks and brakes checked, too.
In other news, I just read Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison. My workshop leader, D-Momma (as two of my friends christened her), gives each workshopper a book that speaks to the person’s style. Apparently D-Momma does this every term. I was incredibly touched, and–after reading Bastard–I am even more so.
I wept for half an hour after finishing it. Go read it.
I have papers to grade. I have shit to write. Oy.
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November 20, 2006 at 4:37 pm (Food)
The Tavern in Charlottesville, Va., is a truly wonderful, magical place. That may have been the lack of oxygen in my blood speaking, though. It’s a hole in the wall, a true UVa institution, where they serve sweet potato pancakes, pumpkin pancakes, and fried green tomatoes, as well as the usual biscuits-n-gravy and other tasty Southern artery-clogging delicacies. It may rank higher in my book than Waffle House for the sheer glory of grease.However, the real star of my day was the bacon waffle. Yes: BACON. WAFFLE. With a huge scoop of whipped butter. Salty Virginia bacon fried to a crisp just added to the waffle batter before putting it on the griddle. The bacon was still salty and crisp, the batter just sweet enough.
YUM!
[Bacon waffle. Originally uploaded by loosegreentea.]
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October 23, 2006 at 4:50 pm (Food, People)
Teaism chai. Even when it’s not perfect (tepid, too much clove, too much milk), Teaism’s chai is always better than powdered chai mix. It’s made right there and it’s so good I illegally park some mornings on my way to campus just so I can get it. Hell yes.
Yarn. It’s holiday season… y’all know what you’re getting. I’m taking at least one night, or parts of several nights, to knit or crochet. It’s good for my hands and good for my brain.
My grandmother. When I nervously told her The Boyfriend and I were moving in together, she said (straight-faced) “Oh, so which room is he moving into?” and then cracked up. (Rather uncharacteristic of her, might I add.) My mother’s response was also not as bad as I had imagined.
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