The Fifth Chakra

I woke up this morning out of a thick and disturbing sleep.  I remember having lots of dreams, but the only one I remember was this:

I was speaking to a friend of mine and felt something go crunch in my mouth.  My tooth had chipped.  And then, my teeth began to fall out–more teeth than I knew I had.  Even now I can remember what it felt like.  They weren’t rotten, the teeth were just falling out.  Then, in my dream, I told myself to wake up.  And in my dream, I woke up.

Then I woke up again for real.

I woke up to the BF calling from the hospital.  We talked and then I got up and prepped to get to the hospital.  I felt like I had been drugged.  Driving to the hospital, I broke down crying, worrying what would happen if I got to the hospital too late.  Too late for what?  Anything.  Anything.

The BF will be in the hospital probably for the weekend, hopefully not for longer.  While we were sitting in the hospital world, my mom called.  My godfather–one of her closest friends when I was growing up–died suddenly a few weeks ago.   I haven’t been in contact with him for a while–nothing big, just haven’t kept in touch with many people that I grew up with, including neighbors and friends of family.  The funeral has already happened already too.

I guess I just always assumed he would be around.

I am overwhelmed with how keenly aware I am of time.